We all struggle to balance work and family, but is it even realistic? Are we on the wrong track? Yes, say our experts.
“We must realize that we are still good in Quebec! Of course there is still a lot of room for improvement, but I think the main work we have to do is on ourselves. We want to do everything! Whereas it is impossible and even useless! That our child is dressed like a fashion card, that he is stimulated all the time, that there is zero dust in the house, that we sit on three committees at the same time… All that for what? Our children won’t do any better, and we’ll eventually burn out. There are those who manage well to combine a thousand things at once and who are very happy with that, and that’s good. But we have to go there according to our personality, our values and the energy we have. We gotta drop everything that doesn’t is essential and focus on what is really important to us, without worrying about the eyes of others. For example, for women who decide to stay at home, that’s fine. There are women for whom it is important, and their choice is completely legitimate. We must take the time to ask ourselves questions and stop wanting to fit into a mold at all costs. The perfect model? He does not exist! You start to realize that the girls in the commercials are part of a minority and that they are often retouched. This same awareness should be made with regard to work-family balance: the super businesswoman-mom-friend-lover, is not real! Maybe in appearance, she is, but behind the appearances…
JEAN-FRANCOIS QUESSY
“I don’t feel less concerned about work-family balance than my spouse, on the contrary. From the moment I had my first child, it was clear that my family would be my priority. So I quit my job in sales for a job that would allow me more flexibility. I can take time off for family reasons and spend as much time as I want with my children. Fortunately, because I have a sick child, so I don’t know how I could have done otherwise. But, as I really like my work, it is well integrated into my life. That is, I can answer emails at 10 p.m., and I don’t mind. For me, work and family are not really separated. Furthermore, my spouse and I form an egalitarian team, where even household chores are split 50-50. That said, women also have a role to play, that of expressing their needs, of saying so when they find that they are doing too much. If, for example, they always take care of the children’s homework, the men will let them go! Otherwise, I believe that more and more companies are keen to facilitate reconciliation for their employees. Employers are not always to be blamed. It is also up to the workers to express their needs and find creative solutions to offer.” men will let them go! Otherwise, I believe that more and more companies are keen to facilitate reconciliation for their employees. Employers are not always to be blamed. It is also up to the workers to express their needs and find creative solutions to offer.” men will let them go! Otherwise, I believe that more and more companies are keen to facilitate reconciliation for their employees. Employers are not always to be blamed. It is also up to the workers to express their needs and find creative solutions to offer.”
CAROL HENRY
“I don’t know if balancing work and family is more difficult today, but it certainly isn’t easier! Whether it’s young children or older children with special needs or elderly parents who need to be taken care of, the family still relies heavily on women’s shoulders. In addition, it has been 12 years since the Act respecting labor standards has undergone any reform, and this does not facilitate reconciliation: little break time, little vacation, days of parental leave but not paid , the obligation to work overtime… Precarious and non-unionized jobs are still mainly held by women. Not to mention workplaces where employees receive their work schedule the day before, in hospitals or factories, for example. How to balance work and family? Of course, there are workplaces where we are more flexible, where we can manage to reconcile work and family more easily, but that is far from being all workplaces. Is reconciliation a matter of choice? Not for everybody. Staying at home or changing jobs is not possible for all women. Moreover, it is very legitimate to want to work. But our society will have to make changes by offering women more measures to facilitate reconciliation. It takes a change of mentality.” where it is possible to manage to reconcile work and family more easily, but it is far from all backgrounds. Is reconciliation a matter of choice? Not for everybody. Staying at home or changing jobs is not possible for all women. Moreover, it is very legitimate to want to work. But our society will have to make changes by offering women more measures to facilitate reconciliation. It takes a change of mentality.” where it is possible to manage to reconcile work and family more easily, but it is far from all backgrounds. Is reconciliation a matter of choice? Not for everybody. Staying at home or changing jobs is not possible for all women. Moreover, it is very legitimate to want to work. But our society will have to make changes by offering women more measures to facilitate reconciliation. It takes a change of mentality.” But our society will have to make changes by offering women more measures to facilitate reconciliation. It takes a change of mentality.” But our society will have to make changes by offering women more measures to facilitate reconciliation. It takes a change of mentality.”
ANNIE CLOUTIER
Mother of 3 children aged 11, 13, and 18 and author of Aimer, maternal, jubiler.
“It is obviously important that there are reconciliation measures, but these do not respond to the distress of those who do not fit into this system which values and prioritizes paid work. They may not represent the majority, but there are many women who would like to be able to stay at home with their children and be involved in society in other ways, by volunteering for example. I would like there to be social recognition for this choice as well as adequate financial measures, for example in terms of taxes. That everyone has a real choice, that of opting for what has the most meaning in their lives. It is important for many women to continue working, and that is fine, but that those who do not want to be valued as much, that would be really good. For example, it would be important for there to be measures for the return to work of women who have stopped working for 5 or 10 years and that the skills they have acquired by raising their children, doing voluntary work, etc. ., are recognized. In short, they do not have to justify a “hole” in their CV. Of course, it is also important to be lucid in one’s choices and, if one opts to stay at home, common-law spouses who have children should consider signing a contract. We really have to get rid of the idea that the woman who stays at home depends on her spouse. It’s archival. The couple is a team and the contribution of women to the home is as valid as that of the spouse who has a paid job. Conciliation policies at currently advocate work, because it is beneficial for the state that women work. But these policies are a kind of straitjacket for some women who do not adhere to these values. We should all be able to make the choice that really suits us and feel valued, whatever that choice is.”
PASCALE PAGEAU
39 years old, mother of 4 children from 4 to 11 years old.
“I am ambitious and I need to be accomplished in my work. Before having children, I was a lawyer in a large firm and I worked crazy hours! And I loved that! When I had my first child, 11 years ago, I hadn’t really thought about the impact it was going to have on my career. The first few times were difficult. I had to hire someone to pick my daughter up from daycare and I only saw her for an hour at night. But, in my field, talking about conciliation is not well seen. It has a pejorative connotation, as if, by trying to reconcile work and family, I was going to be less efficient. The world of work has truly been shaped by men! During my second maternity leave, I thought a lot about what I wanted. My conclusion: I wanted it all! A job with challenges and a family for whom I would be present. And since my old job did not allow me any flexibility, I created my own practice. Since then, I manage to reconcile the two. I can have dinner with my children, help them with their homework, and be present. Then, often, when everyone is in bed, I still work a little. My spouse is also very involved and present, which is essential for success. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. I sincerely believe that you can have it all, but “having it all” is very personal and does not mean the same thing to everyone. And since my old job did not allow me any flexibility, I created my own practice. Since then, I manage to reconcile the two. I can have dinner with my children, help them with their homework, and be present. Then, often, when everyone is in bed, I still work a little. My spouse is also very involved and present, which is essential for success. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. I sincerely believe that you can have it all, but “having it all” is very personal and does not mean the same thing to everyone. And since my old job did not allow me any flexibility, I created my own practice. Since then, I manage to reconcile the two. I can have dinner with my children, help them with their homework, and be present. Then, often, when everyone is in bed, I still work a little. My spouse is also very involved and present, which is essential for success. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. I sincerely believe that you can have it all, but “having it all” is very personal and does not mean the same thing to everyone. when everyone is in bed, I still work a little. My spouse is also very involved and present, which is essential for success. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. I sincerely believe that you can have it all, but “having it all” is very personal and does not mean the same thing to everyone. when everyone is in bed, I still work a little. My spouse is also very involved and present, which is essential for success. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. I sincerely believe that you can have it all, but “having it all” is very personal and does not mean the same thing to everyone.
